The One When the Day Becomes More Bittersweet

My best friend had a perfect pregnancy and she had the most beautiful baby boy last August. Shortly after his delivery it was quickly realized that his precious body wasn’t equipped to take on this world.

He was a fighter.

His parents are too.

Six and half bittersweet weeks went by and after several more complications everyone knew he was saying it was time to stop.

His spirit has not stopped.

Four lives have been saved by his parents’ pleas for bone marrow registrations and his parents and all those in relationship with them have been changed in a million ways.

But grieving is hard.

If you ever have a chance to sit down in the pit of someone’s heartbreak I believe you are in the most sacred place you could ever be. Carrying someone’s grieving heart inside yours is the closest I’ve ever been to experiencing what Jesus does for all of us.

The past year and a half have been spent with the most difficult work for my best friend and her sweet husband.

How do hold hands with the future after you lose the chance to hold hands with your son?

How do you stay open and begin to trust again when life delivered the worst moment anyone could experience?

Today of all days when I just wrote about the bittersweet of life I got a text.

“The birth mother that chose us is in labor. We leave in a few hours to meet our new son.”

The emotions are crushingly joyful.

The bitter and the sweet have happened again.

And so I weep and I can’t sleep and I rest in the assurance that God’s got this just as he has their precious baby boy.

Redemption without pain can’t exist…So we hold both tensions together in this beautiful painful moment.

The reassurance of the big brother that spends his days in heaven.

The mommy and daddy that forever hold him in their hearts.

The heartbreak of a birth mother making the ultimate sacrifice.

The 12 hour baby who is blessed beyond imaginable.

The tears flow, oh how the flow.

May my best friends’ arms hold her adoptive baby tonight holy Abba Father.

May she be able to have grace with herself when that moment is so beautiful by also reminds her of her first born son.

The bittersweet.  


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s