A dear friend of mine asked me a few weeks ago if we’re capable of having a “boring life.” You see everyone I am closely connected with are all doing really hard things…on purpose… and we’re all exhausted. We’re being brave through life changes, we’re kicked down and we get back up, we start new things, we embrace broken, we don’t hide our struggles, and we dream big.
But this idea of having a “boring life” for me sounds so inviting lately if I’m honest and this has been circling around my brain ever since. What would this life look like? Would I be happier…less dramatic… more restful?
I am a person who’s natural tendency is to run into hard things and then when I’m in the middle of it, I wonder why I’m overwhelmed and how I got there.
I wonder why I’m not strong enough.
I wonder if it was really meant for me.
I wonder if I can actually sustain it.
And it messes me up.
But here’s what I’m learning. Here’s what I know for sure.
I’m not strong enough.
It is still meant for me.
I will sustain it.
It will still mess me up…in the best kind of way.
The real way.
The raw, broken, use a lot more swear words, real living kind of way.
I’m not alone.
Thank you Jesus I’m not alone. Because God goes before me, behind me, and is the light within me. Because I can’t mistake the voice He gave me, the way He wired me, and the empathy He placed inside me. Because a boring life isn’t the life I was meant to live. Because when it’s hard it probably means I’m doing something right.
And because He placed a tribe of people around me that won’t let me deny my purpose. Because the moment I’m about to give up is the moment where they will remind me that they are in this with me through the most tangible of ways through texts, meals, hugs, notes, watching kids, checking in on our marriage, and tears.
The last month has been hard and last week my people just kept showing up for us in a way that makes it undeniable to ignore that my story isn’t my own…it’s everyones too. It reminds me how grateful I am and how honored I am to continue to be vulnerable. It reminds me that a boring life wouldn’t include these moments where you have to let go of your ego and ask for help.
I’m not alone.
The wine will show up on the porch.
4 different bottles to be exact.