For me, how I view Jesus has morphed and changed since I was little (and to be honest it’s still evolving at times). But man, the imagery Jesus gives us. I fall more in more in love with the way he walked this earth. It’s undeniably holy and raw…just as this life is for us. You can never have the light without the darkness, right?
Would Jesus’ life be less human or less holy if it was all just light and goodness? I think so.
Jesus took on humanity in all its forms. First he entered as a baby. This used to just be a really fun Sunday story for me but I’ve given birth a few times. This isn’t a pretty, safe, shiny, clean experience ya’ll. But it’s holy…and it comes through vulnerability, pain, and messiness. That’s our first picture of Jesus. Allow himself to be completely dependent in the messiness.
Then this Easter story. Gah, it gets me. Every year, truthfully in a new way. Sometimes I wrestle with it. Sometimes I’m bothered by the unknown of it. I honestly spend hours trying to frame it in the right developmental lens for our children and the kids I’ve been entrusted with at our church.
But all the time I’m in awe of it. The darkness, the light, the glimpses of prophesy coming true in ways no one expected. The servant Jesus that would spend his last meal with people that would run from him and instead he ran to them, kneeled down, and washed their feet.
That’s my Jesus.
Running toward people and kneeling.
This year, I connect most with Jesus’ painful tears and crying the the garden. It’s as if he was reminding me…us… that brokenness and grieving is meant for lamenting and it’s holy too.
There He is. Alone.
Already broken with what’s about to happen.
And he choose to submit and pour out his honest unfiltered heart. He’s literally begging to be redeemed in that moment.
I’ve been there too and if Jesus does it, I realize even in that death, even in that grief, even in that begging, I am one with Christ more fully when I allow the lament.
He’s literally showing the “me too.”
He’s showing me that no matter what dies, he WILL bring new life through it. It might not be in the ways I pictured, in the ways I wanted, in the ways I thought it would be but oh Jesus…You are making all things new even in the deaths.
So here I am in the Kingdom of now and the not yet. And there are so many little and big deaths in this life, isn’t there?
And there He is…saying “me too” in the darkness.
And then he reveals his light in the lamenting and waiting.
I pray this Easter season brings new perspective and grace in whatever you find yourself in these days…whether it’s a light time or a dark one.
And if that season is despair, picture Jesus in that garden today. Utterly broken but present in his pain whispering to you…